Dear Abby: I have no memory of those three days, but somehow I alienated my friends

DEAR ABBY I live in a very small town My husband died a year ago and since then I have felt like certain of these people are angry with me Related Articles Magid Designing digital safety with youth in mind Asking Eric We re keeping a heavy secret from our neighbors Harriette Cole I want this manager to hurry up and poach me Miss Manners Her joke about dodging the check turned out not so funny Dear Abby My son s DNA test says he s part Jewish and he doesn t know why Six months ago I had what my therapist called a nervous breakdown I know I wasn t myself for chosen time and I can t remember much of what I did or explained I have been stated I noted things to close friends that were unkind and even swore at them This happened over maybe a three-day period My friends won t tell me what I declared I belong to a card club with these women and I guess I swore at them and announced or did particular things that were awful I haven t been able to express my sorrow for it I have tried but no one will tell me what happened They tell other people and those people haven t been friendly since then either I was kicked out of the club and informed I would not be allowed back in Can you give me specific idea of what I can do to make my friends want to be with me again I m miserable and need help OUTCAST IN IOWA DEAR OUTCAST I am sure you are miserable The women in that social group turned their backs on you Were any of them ever described that you had a psychological break after your husband died and you were under the care of a psychotherapist If they knew and cannot understand and forgive your outburst shame on them Because you can t force anyone to cut you a few slack and be kind enough to explain what it was you were saying when you weren t yourself you will have to look elsewhere for friendship A discussion with your religious adviser in that small town might be a place to start P S I wonder if what you stated to those ladies when you were not yourself was true which is why they aren t speaking to you DEAR ABBY A co-worker of mine is dependably bashing teachers mostly about salaries and summers off If her daughter has to stay after school to get caught up on assignments it is invariably the instructor s fault My husband is a retired instructor He knows that apprentice success is a triangle of teachers students and parents working together I know her complaints are not directed at my husband but I bristle every time I hear them from her When we moved here for his job years ago his starting salary was barely above poverty level Her father was a state legislator who not once voted for teachers When she speaks I imagine I am hearing him Her husband is a former law enforcement officer and I would never dream of bashing his profession day in and day out Related Articles Magid Designing digital safety with youth in mind Asking Eric We re keeping a heavy secret from our neighbors Harriette Cole I want this manager to hurry up and poach me Miss Manners Her joke about dodging the check turned out not so funny Dear Abby My son s DNA test says he s part Jewish and he doesn t know why How can I get a word in edgewise and what should it be WONDERING UP NORTH DEAR WONDERING The next time your co-worker starts in summon up the backbone to tell her how hard your husband worked for low pay trying to cram an coaching into the heads of mostly disinterested students and how her comments affect you Say it with feeling and perhaps she will think twice before opening her mouth on that subject with you Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA